Tears poured down my face onto my blue and white shirt. My heart cracked open and from it a spring of emotion flowed out. My hands were wrapped around the steering wheel and foot pressed on the brake while we waited in traffic.
We were heading to Patrice’s home and I missed a turn that brought us into heavy traffic. I was driving a rental car through Brooklyn with my friend. We just found out the rental location was closed and we’d have to return it in the morning and pay more. The feelings of distress about missing this detail and continuing to drive after a long weekend brought me to an emotional place. The money triggers continued, I thought to myself. Why are we experiencing all of this? I asked Spirit.
In a moment of pause my thoughts reflected on the weekend we just experienced. Release and Renew was the theme for a healing retreat I created. Patrice and I co-facilitated a mushroom medicine ceremony for a beautiful couple in upstate New York. I began to viscerally feel so much love and beauty while reflecting. Tears started to come down as I spoke out loud my feelings to Patrice. The extra costs of the car rental were insignificant when compared to the richness of the weekend we just completed. The ripple effect of our intention and action there is so… potent, words can’t portray the fullness. I had never experienced so much beauty in such a full body way, in my life.
The first night Patrice and I entered the home in upstate New York, we realized our service this weekend was in two parts. We were meant to bring light into the home. This old farmhouse had been lived in by multiple families for generations. Likely it has roots dating back to the 1800s or earlier. Even before I entered I sensed the presence of a grandmother on the porch swing. She was waiting for us. Inside we found a large living room with a fireplace and what felt like a counsel of elders waiting for us. We asked for permission to enter and hold our medicine retreat, and they said yes.
Our light and love was needed. We walked through the house with sage, our songs, words of love, singing bowls, and an ancient language from both of our lineage from the beginning of creation. Lights flickered, entities taunted us with frightening images, and children tickled our feet. We held each other’s hands, kept our heart open, and continued to call in light, and healing for the spirits that were trapped there. The release of pain from the past, for the renewal of peace for all.
I held love and prayer in my being while fear still managed to creep in my thoughts. I knew this was a perfect gift. A chance to navigate fear and love, boundaries and self sovereignty. How deep could I go?
In the morning we began to prepare our space for two guests coming to the medicine ceremony. Patrice suggested I create my altars and I would start to feel better. I was still a bit spooked and shaken up by the night before.
We began to prepare the downstairs with sheets and blankets, and set up an area for Patrice to lay out her singing bowls. The altar for the medicine ceremony was created with pieces of nature from the area. I clipped forsythia branches, fern, and collected pine cones and pieces of bark. In the room I found a ceramic broken figure of a hummingbird and flower. This was set up in the center and the nature pieces spread out from there. A blue jug of kangen water sat near the middle, and rose petals, shells, and candles were spiraled out from the center. Throughout the morning I kept feeling drawn to bring an altar to the upstairs where we sensed the most dense energy. It was an area that held anger and resistance to our presence. I felt drawn to bring up something sweet, as an offering. I bravely walked up the steps and placed a tray with a crystal, four tea lights, a bowl of dates, a rose, and red stone for grounding.
The pure love and gratitude from the two participants that arrived was the final dose of medicine needed to transmute the energies of the home. Our precious participants were also taking the weekend to enjoy and celebrate their 1 year anniversary. The love for each other was palpable and their harmony was healing. They moved through the home with ease and joy.
[I’ll end this portion here and return for part 2]
